Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Consulting

Archive for the ‘Bullying’ Category

Many teens enjoy keeping in touch with their friends on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, but there are both risks and benefits to the use of these sites.  Overuse/Misuse of social media has been linked to mental health issues including depression and eating disorders.

Now, a  report from the American Academy of Pediatrics describes a new phenomenon called “Facebook depression,” in which children and teenagers spend an inordinate amount of time on social networking sites, then develop symptoms of depression.

Facebook depression is UNCOMMON–most children benefit from the use of facebook because they are able to maintain ties with friends and feel a connection with their community, according to Scott Campbell, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Michigan.

Heavy use of  Facebook can have serious consequences, so it’s important that parents are aware of their children’s media use, as well as remaining aware of their social lives away from the computer.

Dr. Michael Brody, Chair of the Media Committee for the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and who was involved with the American Academy of Pediatrics report,  notes that relationships with peers become critical during adolescence, and that Facebook facilitates social engagement with friends.  “Kids become are very competitive, and kids want to be chosen,” said Dr. Brody.  Since facebook allows adolescents to see the number of friends their peers have, some youth may perceive that they are not as popular if they have fewer facebook “friends”. They may also perceive by reading the status updates of their facebook “friends” that they are not having as much fun as their peers. “I think the idea of envy and jealousy becomes very magnified through this medium,” says Brody.

Dr. Brody points out that causation is not suggested by the study.  The evidence does not suggest that Facebook leads to depression. It could be that certain adolescents who are already depressed are prone to spending too much time online, Brody said.

The study is consistent with previous findings of internet use–that depression and loneliness are associated with extremely heavy users of the internet–and also linked with a much lower rate of OFFLINE social connections.

Humans are social creatures, and studies have continued to demonstrate that having a healthy “social rhythm” is protective against mood disorders. It is important to engage with other people in real, offline, socially interactive ways.

Dr. Brody advises that parents encourage their children to engage in a variety of activities, and this can facilitate a healthy social rhythm:

I think kids who have a balanced life, who do schoolwork, who do after-school activities, who are in teams, who are in clubs, who do community service have a much lesser chance of becoming depressed

In contrast to years past, pop stars like Justin Bieber are far more in touch with their fans thanks to Facebook and Twitter. In social media, obsessive followers can cultivate a false, and often dangerous, sense of intimacy that has led to incidents of erratic behavior, like this week’s cyber death threats aimed at Bieber’s girlfriend. This is an issue that is serious, and should be taken seriously. 

 ”Where are the parents? Who is trying to g 

Parents must help their children use technology and media responsibly. Parents must remind children taht it is important to be kind and civil to other people–even if they are dating the teen idol the teen is in love with. Bieber is rumored to be dating Selena Gomez, and recent photos of the two of them together resulted in death threats sent to Gomez by Bieber fans on Twitter. 

The parents of the teen stars must also step up here; they need to balance the promotion and publicity of their children with the need for their children to have some privacy about their personal lives.  While it is fun for Bieber’s fans to receive ”tweets” from him, it can be difficult for a 10 year old to realize that the updates probably come from a PR team, and are not a personal, intimate communication between Bieber and the fan.  These “tweets” can produce a sense of intimacy and involvement in Bieber’s private life–such that they feel entitled to feel slighted by Gomez’ more special relationship. 

 The parents of these adoring fans that need to take notice. We need to guide our children in the appropriate use of media. We need to guide our children in how they communicate with others. we need to guide our children in relating to others in a way that is polite, appropriate, and even empathic–and not threatening. 

Celebrity obsession has been treated in children before; in fact, Dr. Ravitz had a patient who was obsessed with Bam Margera, famous skateboarder and ‘Jackass’ personality. After addressing the issue, it was clear the reason for the obsession was rooted in self-esteem issues and family relations 

Caregivers of youth who are really struggling in their relationships with teen idols must be alert to obsessions that go beyond healthy. It is developmentally normal to look for people outside of our family to idolize–to look to for values, and for how to dress, what to like. This is a part of separating from our parents, and trying to develop autonomy as individuals. But if a youth is struggling wtih feeling excluded, is struggling socially with peers, or is struggling with self-esteem, the normal interests in teen idols can become more intensely obsessive, and there may be underlying issues to address for the child that warrant mental health intervention. 

 Social media has only begun to dictate the way people communicate with each other. Although the issue is something to take notice of, the ugly language and death threats online shouldn’t be confused with the norm.

Alan Ravitz, MD, MS  Senior Director of Forensic Psychiatry; Senior Pediatric Psychopharmacologist
Child Mind Institute

Parents of tweenage girls, Twitterers, trend-watchers—and the rest of the world, probably—know all about Justin Bieber, the 16-year-old pop sensation who appears to have sprung fully-formed from the Canadian heartland to take America by storm. And those with more than a passing interest and access to the Internet likely know that the teen star has been linked to the latest in a string of young women, the singer Selena Gomez, who is 18. Recently, the Web was aflutter over pictures of the two on a Caribbean vacation, apparently locking lips. Innocent fun, right? Free of consequences? Not when the “Beliebers” get you in their sights.

In fact, the combination of “Bieber fever” and Twitter has turned lethal—at least verbally, as some fans have actually issued death threats targeted at Gomez. And while the anonymity of the Internet cloaks the age of these posters, they are likely young girls and adolescents. Take your pick of shocking posts: 

• “@selenagomez I’ll kiII you I swear on GOD!!!!”
• “@selenagomez stay away from Justin ped0phile, retard wait i’m gonna kiII ya in the night underneath your smelly bed”
• “@selenagomez whore cancer whore..like i’mm kiII myself cuz i saw you and Justin kissing well thankyou Selena thankyou now i’m kiIILing myself”

Death threats? Slurs? Suicidal language? Why would our children type these things? Sadly, it’s another side-effect of the culture of the Web: Just like teens bully their peers even more viciously online than in real life because the consequences aren’t immediately apparent, children and adolescents in the virtual world are quicker and more outrageous in their anger or despair when faced with a setback.  The stream-of-consciousness spewing of raw feeling has, unfortunately, become accepted as a form of authenticity. As if the immediacy of the emotion somehow excuses the virulence of what’s being expressed.

Which leads to a another disturbing question: How did our kids get so deeply invested in Justin Bieber’s love life? Don’t they know he doesn’t sing just for them?

Girls today can get incredibly wrapped up in relationships that in reality are nothing but fiction. This is nothing new, of course—mention Sinatra, Elvis, the Beatles, David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys, and any number of women of every age will recall a youthful infatuation bordering on obsession. And yet today it is different—young fans have a much stronger illusion of access to their idols, who communicate “directly” to them on their smartphones and iPads via social media. A youngster could be forgiven for thinking that Justin Bieber is, in this virtual universe, reciprocating her affections.

This is just what Bieber’s media machine is after. An astute reader of the Huffington Post points out that in some countries in Asia, like South Korea, male pop stars are forbidden from having public romantic relationships to preserve the fiction for their young female fans—and thus pad the bottom line. This fiction can be dangerous—sure enough, at a Bieber concert in Australia last year a number of young fans were crushed in the rush to be near the stage and their virtual beau in the flesh. But the more pervasive danger is emotional—as evidenced by the virulent outpouring following the Gomez flap. And it’s especially worrying because these obsessions are less and less visible to parents.

The days of posters, magazines, and massive CD collections are gone, all disappeared inside the computer, or even the device in a kid’s pocket. Endless calls that used to tie up the phone are now silent text messages. And with this increased access—that Bieber has to his fans, that they have to him, that our children have to the wider community on the Web—the harmless, if hysterical, crushes of the past now spur open talk of murder and suicide. Another HuffPo commenter makes light of the phenomenon—in the ’80s and early ’90s, she writes, “we didn’t have ‘THE INTERNET,’ we had AOL! It was way too slow for us to be totally outraged on the Internet.” This joke contains a fairly substantial kernel of truth: The Web is not just a forum, a new method of communication; it amplifies raw emotions, passing rages, and their consequences.

Bieber’s mother is reportedly upset with him about the pictures. We don’t need to be angry with our kids, but we need to teach them that the rules they know to follow don’t magically disappear when they’re in front of a keyboard and a screen. We understand that these Beliebers on Twitter probably don’t truly feel murderous or suicidal; they’re indulging in adolescent exaggeration, and if we heard them say it we would probably hear it that way. But these kinds of remarks read very differently in print—you just can’t tell online. And remember that when 18-year-old Tyler Clementi killed himself last year, following a heartless prank, he left this message on Facebook: “jumping off the gw bridge sorry.”

Knowing the difference between real pain and teen exaggeration is key to monitoring our kids’ emotional lives in this digital age, and the only way to do that is to know your child. Be tuned in to her moods; talk to her about her music and her crushes. You want to understand how powerful her interest is, gauge how emotionally involved she is, and know when she’s suffering—even if the object of her affections is someone she’s never met. It’s not easy; not a lot of parenting in the 2.0 world is. But this is her life. You want to be there for her, even if it seems too silly to be serious. A broken heart is a broken heart, even on the Web. 

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The Department of Education held its first bullying summit in Washington, DC. Education Secretary Arne Duncan, child development experts and school officials discussed ways to end bullying in our nation’s schools and how to craft a national strategy to provide students with a safe learning environment.

Click here to view the video on C-Span Summit in Washington, DC : 3 hr. 48 min.